Author: Megan Weaver Culbertson, BSN, RN

Life Update

A little life update- my husband and I both tested positive for Covid last week. My husband on Monday and me on Friday. My husband was really sick for a few days- cough, severe congestion, severe fatigue, body aches, chills, headache, sore throat. He ended up with a secondary upper respiratory infection and needed an antibiotic. I have had similar symptoms but I feel they began to improve quicker than Bradley’s did. Probably thanks to me having Covid just six months ago. I’m still coughing, congested, body aches, and fatigued. And we both are having one of the weirdest symptoms- burning in your sinus cavity. It literally feels like having water up your nose- all the time. Very odd, and not something my sister in law and I had in January.

You have not failed

I remember something one of my favorite people to get Covid research from- Laurel Bristow– an infectious disease researcher studying Covid at Emory University said months ago in her Instagram stories. She mentioned that many people feel they failed when they get Covid- especially after not having it for so long. And I relate to this, now having it twice in six months.

When you are passionate about the health and safety of yourself, your family, and others- it can feel like you failed when you see the test turn positive. You wore a mask, got your vaccine, washed your hands, social distanced, and yet- still positive. Or, you took a calculated risk to enjoy an event with friends and family. And then, positive. It leaves you thinking what you could of done differently. Maybe leaves you with regret. Feeling less than those who still have managed to evade Covid.

I worked on a Covid unit for 2 years as a travel nurse. I had multiple exposures. I never got Covid. I take time away from the hospital to heal my tired soul- and I get Covid twice. It feels like a cruel joke.

You are Not Alone

Statistically, most of us will contract Covid. At the current rate, more than once. Getting Covid is no reflection on your morals or ethics. It has nothing to do with not trying hard enough to stay safe. Do not feel bad if it happens after an event or outing. We have to be safe, but we also have to live and enjoy our lives. Thankfully, the current strain has been less serious than Delta and the original Covid strand. We have vaccines and better treatment options. We know more about the disease and how to manage it. Obviously, we still need to use caution and our mitigation strategies. But thankfully we are further ahead than we were when this started.

This disease is extremely contagious and can be spread very quickly. No matter what you do, unless you plan to never leave your house and have contact with another human, it’s impossible to stay completely safe. Simply going to a doctor’s appointment or grocery appointment can be a possibility of exposure. And these are things we need to do. Continue to be safe and know if you catch Covid, you have not failed. It is simply an unfortunate part of life at this point.

Resources:

Learn more about Covid at the CDC Website

For accurate and update to date information, I highly recommend Laurel Bristow on Instagram. Check out her story highlights!

In honor of the One Line a Day Reflection Journal I published, as well as the importance mental health and self care play in this blog- I am going to share journal prompts every month. Journaling has a variety of benefits and it has really helped me on my mental health journey.

Some benefits of journaling include:

• Reduce stress and anxiety
• Find inspiration
• Track progress and growth
• Make connections between thoughts

The One Line a Day Reflection Journal is a journal I published to help those who are new to journaling or have struggled with consistency in the past. It is a simple, one line reflection every day. Weekly, you have a guided reflection. And each week, you get a quote to help encourage and support you. My friend did the cover art. It’s really a beautiful reflection of both of our mental health journey. The proceeds help to support Nurses Supporting Nurses, an organization I founded that provides free and low cost support groups to nurses and CNAs. If you are interested in joining a support group, visit https://nursessupportingnurses.com

To purchase the One Line a Day journal on Amazon, click here.

Alone in Mental Illness

I have had anxiety since I was a young child (though not diagnosed), honestly as long as I can remember and depression since high school. The stigma behind mental illness makes it hard to admit this, but I am working to change that. I don’t want to be ashamed or hide. I don’t want to feel embarrassed to share my whole story. There is beauty in sharing your story- and there is healing. For not only you, but for others.

The problem with mental illness, pain, and trauma is it leads you to believe alone is enough. Alone is where you are meant to be. Alone is better. And when you are around people, you hide your true self. It is scary to let people know your struggles. So it is easier to keep them hidden.

Alone in Nursing

Nursing also has a culture of teamwork and unity- but being alone in your feelings. We are taught that you just “deal with” the trauma you experience daily as a nurse. If you are going to be a good nurse, you won’t let the death get to you. You won’t cry in front of families. You will be able to experience trauma and heartbreak, and then move right along to the next patient or home to your family. No one ever taught us how to process and cope in a healthy way. No one taught us the importance of leaning on your peers outside of the hospital. No one taught us that showing emotion makes us human. I have cried in front of families, and it made them feel like their loved one was care for. Loved.

The past two years, especially during the delta wave, I truly began to feel the loneliness weighing on me. My emotions and grief were heavy. I went from high functioning depression to a major episode. I had trouble leaving bed. I had little appetite. I felt physical pain. I needed help, but I couldn’t find the energy to ask. Alone is where I thought I needed to be. People had lost loved ones, so my pain was less than. I should be able to handle it- alone.

Alone is no longer enough.

I realized I needed community and support to work through my PTSD, anxiety and depression, and get back to loving myself again. I started with asking my NP for help and sharing the struggles I was having. This lead to me starting medication. Next, I made an appointment (and actually kept it) with my therapist. I realized this was helping, but it’s not enough. I had 9 years of nursing cumulative care taking trauma and a long history of mental illness to work through. With the encouragement of my therapist (and family and friends)- I started the Nurses Supporting Nurses Support Group. I have found a lot of healing and growth through starting Nurses Supporting Nurses. It is growing into both a business and community. A healing place for nurses. Alone is no longer enough.

I want NSN to help to change the culture of nursing and mental health care. Nurses need nursing care. And mental health care. Debriefings and support group should be a normal part of our culture and healthcare system- not the outlier. Checking in on healthcare workers to see if they are okay should happen on a weekly basis. Resources should be readily available. It is time we care for our healers.

My beautiful friend and debriefing nurse Tara Kosma is the person behind the quote “Alone is no longer enough.” She is the founder of Debriefing the Front Lines, a non-profit organization that provides free and low cost debriefings to nurses to help them process cumulative care taking trauma. I encourage everyone- nurse or not- to consider making a donation to help support DTFL and their mission.

NSN Support Group is open to any nurse or CNA from any speciality looking for a healing place to come together with a community of your peers. Sessions are offered free of charge, but donations are accepted to help support NSN’s support groups and other mental health resources. Donations are appreciated but never expected. You can make a donation here.

If you are struggling, please reach out. Debriefing the Front Lines and Nurses Supporting Nurses are here to support you. We do not want you to be alone. We want to sit with you and hold space for you. “Alone is no longer enough.”

May is Mental Health Awareness Month. A lot of stigma lies around mental illness and this can have severe and even deadly effects on people. A few fast facts about mental illness:

• 1 in 5 of U.S. adults experienced mental illness
• 5.6% of U.S. adults experienced serious mental illness
• 6.7% of U.S. adults experienced a co-occuring substance use disorder and mental illness

What is Stigma in Mental Health?

Stigma is when people hold negative views about a person or group of people simply because of their mental health diagnosis. People are shamed and discriminated against based on their diagnosis, medications they take, going to therapy, hospitalizations, and more. This can lead to internalized stigma- the person beginning to believe that they are bad or an embarrassment. Stigma can lead to difficulty finding employment, receiving an education, finding housing, having relationships, and more.

Why is it harmful?

Stigma can result in people not seeking help. Only about half of the adults in the U.S. that need mental health treatment will receive it. The lack of support and treatment can lead to death by suicide and suffering. Stigma also can lead to people being excluded from families, friendships, bullied, and harassed.

What can you do?

Educate yourself. One of the biggest cause of stigma is not understanding mental illness. The National Alliance for Mental Illness website offers a lot of information on mental illness, symptoms, and treatments. It also provides information on how to support a loved one with mental illness. Educating yourself and other on mental illness helps to break down some of the bias and misinformation many of us have learned through society.

Change your language.

Using inappropriate labels and language about mental illness- or even about non-human things (i.e. the weather is “bipolar”) helps to continue the stigma and further create a divide among those with mental illness and those without. Changing your language is a simple but impactful way to help end the stigma and be more respectful to those who live with mental illness.

Be Kind.

The biggest takeaway is, be kind. No one chooses mental illness, just like no one chooses to have any other chronic illness. It is no different than any other physical illness. People no matter what their diagnosis may be deserve to be loved and cared for. Please be kind to your fellow humans and educate yourself this mental health month.

Reference: nami.org