Author: Megan Weaver Culbertson, BSN, RN

In the next week I will hit my one year mark away from the bedside. It’s really hard to believe it’s been that long. In some ways, it’s been shorter. In some ways, it’s been longer. I have been a nurse for ten years. During this time- I experienced so many beautiful moments. Moments that I’ll hold close to me forever. There were also hard times. Short staffing, toxic environments, abusive patients, mean nurses, all took it’s toll only my mental and emotional health.

I did two years of travel nursing during the pandemic. My last contract, I began to develop debilitating symptoms of depression and PTSD. I wasn’t getting out of bed, I had trouble showering, I didn’t find job in anything I did. I finally reached out for help and through the support of my husband and family- realized it was time to walk away from the bedside to focus on my own mental health and healing. I deserved time to heal my mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual health.

To read more about my choice to step away from the bedside- Stepping Away from Nursing

You deserve to put your mental health first

One thing I really learned in my year away is- you deserve and you should put your mental health first. I was worried about money (which is valid), not doing my part helping during the pandemic, sticking to the career I loved, the list goes on. In the past few years I really started to think I would just stay bedside, at least PRN, for most of my career. I love taking care of patient and families. I love the staff and teamwork of working bedside. The adrenaline. But things change, and it’s okay to adapt to that. You deserve to take care of your health.

You are more than a nurse

I don’t think I realized how much of my self worth I had put in my education and being a nurse. I spent years in nursing school, years working as a nurse. I loved working at the hospital, being a travel nurse, it was something I was really proud of. When I found myself telling people I wasn’t working as a nurse- it was hard. Being a nurse was a huge part of my identity. Through therapy and self growth- I was reminded I am more than a nurse. I am a complete person without working as a nurse.

Nursing can look many different ways

Nursing does not have to be clocking in for a 12 hour shift at the hospital. I knew this, but I was really reminded of it after developing long haul and not being able to return to work. I consider my work with Nurses Supporting Nurses, the organization I founded to provide mental health and wellness resources to nurses, nursing students, and CNAs, to be some of the best use of my nursing skills and experience. I am honored to hold our weekly support group. I now also have a job doing in home medicaid assessments, another new way to be a nurse that I am really enjoying. There is so many opportunities outside the bedside, and if you are needing a break or a change- I highly recommend looking into them.

Chronic Illness is a long and hard journey

I was diagnosed with Covid the beginning of January and after was diagnosed with long haul covid. I have been to the ER, cardiologist, started medication, and had a wide array of symptoms that limited my physical capacity. It’s been a difficult journey, especially when combined with depression and PTSD. But I’m learning to find a new normal and I hope to continue to make improvements in both my physical and mental health.

You are Not Alone

If the support group I have facilitated for the past 7 months has taught me anything, it’s you are not alone. In your worries, stress, struggles- other people are feeling the same things you are. Almost everyone in our support group is actively looking for other jobs or has changed jobs. We all have struggled with the stress of the pandemic, short staffing, and just life in general. If you are a nurse, CNA, or nursing student, we would love to have you join our support group.

Nursing is hard. It’s even harder during a pandemic. Short staff, supply shortage, emotional trauma, the list goes on. And it’s okay to say- I need a break. That may look like cutting hours or changing jobs. Please take care of you. You deserve to feel happy and find peace.

The past week has held a lot of tragedy for the nursing & health care community. Three member of our community- a nurse, a social worker, and a nurses practitioner were all killed while simply doing their jobs. And we aren’t talking about military medics on the front lines of war (which is tragic) but civilian nurses in a hospital and detox center in the U.S. Places staff, patients, and families should be safe. Our country and hospitals are failing nurses and healthcare workers- over and over again.

On Tuesday October 18, June Onkundi, a psychiatric nurse practitioner was stabbed and killed by a patient she was caring for at Freedom House Recovery Center in Durham, NC. The recovery center is a halfway house and detoxification center.

On Saturday October 22, a nurse- Katie Flowers, who went by Annette, and Jacqueline Pokuaa, a social worker were shot and killed at Dallas Methodist on the post partum unit . The alleged killer was shot by a Dallas Methodist police sergeant in the leg. He was stabilized and transferred to a nearby hospital.

Violence Against Health Care Workers

These tragedies are senseless and heartbreaking. Healthcare workers should never fear for their lives when going to work, but especially fear of death by a gunshot. Yet, healthcare workers are five times as likely to experience violence in the work place as other professions. We have enough trauma with the mismanagement of the entire pandemic, short staffing, lack of needed supplies. Violence against healthcare workers has alway been an issue, and now it is on the tragically on the rise. Some other concerning statistics:

• The rate of injuries from violent attacks against medical professionals grew by 63% from 2011 to 2018
• In a survey by National Nurses United, 48% of the more than 2,000 responding nurses reported an increase in workplace violence — more than double the percentage from a year earlier.
• 44% of nurses report experiencing physical violence
• 68% of nurses report verbal abuse during the pandemic

Poor Response from Dallas Methodist

This message from a employee at Dallas Methodist was shared on The Nurse Erica’s instagram and it is heartbreak that the hospital not only failed to protect the nurse and social worker who passed, but they also failed to care for the mental and emotional health of their staff member. I have since read that crisis councilors were brought in- but why were they not there from day 1? Why were they not working to make the staff feel safe and help them cope. This is, yet again, another moment when healthcare facilities and admin fail to care for the healthcare workers.

SAVE Act

Representatives Madeleine Dean (PA-D) and Larry Dean Bucshon (IN-R) introduced the Safety From Violence for Healthcare Employees (SAVE) Act. This bill, modeled after current protections for aircraft and airport workers, would provide legal penalties for individuals who knowingly and intentionally assault or intimidate hospital employees. This bill needs to be passed as a first step in protecting healthcare workers.

The bill is endorsed by the American Hospital Association, the American College of Emergency Physicians, the Hospital & Healthsystem Association of Pennsylvania, the Indiana Hospital Association, and the Indiana Organization for Nursing Leadership.

Support from NSN

If you need a safe place to come and share your thoughts and feelings on these tragedies, your fear for the future of nursing or walking in to work, or whatever it may be- Nurses Supporting Nurses is here for you. We hold a complimentary support group every Wednesday at 8pm EST for nurses, nursing students, and CNAs. Visit the website or reach out if you want more information.

Sending love to the families of the lost healthcare workers. I am truly sorry the system failed your loved on.

References:

https://www.fox4news.com/news/two-nurses-killed-in-dallas-hospital-shooting-identified

https://nurse.org/articles/nurse-stabbed-by-patient/

https://www.aha.org/fact-sheets/2022-06-07-fact-sheet-workplace-violence-and-intimidation-and-need-federal-legislative

https://dean.house.gov/2022/6/reps-dean-and-bucshon-introduce-bill-to-protect-healthcare-employees

https://www.aamc.org/news-insights/threats-against-health-care-workers-are-rising-heres-how-hospitals-are-protecting-their-staffs

https://www.aha.org/lettercomment/2022-03-24-aha-urges-doj-protect-health-care-workers-workplace-violence