It is really hard to believe I have been out of bedside nursing for two years now. I loved my time at the bedside, and I can’t say I won’t ever go back to it. I think about going back but I know now isn’t the right time. I have been privleadged to care for so many amazing people in the best and worse time of their lives. Support both them and their loved ones. These moments have changed me for the better. Unfortunately, some change you for the worse. The abuse nurses and other healthcare workers experience at the hands of large, rich institutions is painful.

To learn more about my decision to take a (now very long) break from the bedside- check out my post Stepping Away from Nursing

All Nursing Positions are Important and Valid

It’s odd how I could be so adamant and support all areas of nurses. Both bedside and away from bedside. But when it came to my own personal career and journey, I felt so much guilt and “less than” being a nurse away from the bedside. Nurse culture has a way of sharing this toxic belief that the only way to be a “real nurse” is through bedside shift work and that just couldn’t be further from the truth. I have found so much satisfaction and pride working as a home health RN. Being able to care for people in their homes and help them stay in the place that feels most comfortable to them is amazing. The love and appreciation I get from both patients and families is an amazing encouragement.

You Matter. Your health matters.

Oof, the martyr syndrome is alive and well in nursing. So many narrative float around about needed to be self sacrificial to be a good and worthy nurse. I’m so happy to see the newer generation of nurses caring for themselves in ways nurses usually do not. I have learned that my mental and physical health means more than any career- even one that fills me with pride and I have a big passion for.

Talk to Someone

I founded Nurses Supporting Nurses to provide a safe space for nurses, nursing students, and CNAs to go and share their experiences and receive support. I have learned that no one needs to carry the weigh that comes with working in healthcare alone. Community and support is so important in caring for yourself and being able to care for others.

Plans for the Future

For now, I am enjoying my time as a home health nurse. I feel like I have learned a lot and I really enjoy getting to work with people in their homes. I also have had the opportunity to learn a lot more about wound care including wound vacs, something I never had the opportunity to learn in the hospital. I may have more time at bedside at some point in the future, but for now, I am enjoying my time away and learning new things.

Violence against Health Care Workers has been a growing concern, with a 2019 ANA Survey reporting that 1 in 4 nurses report being physically assaulted at work. If you talk to a healthcare worker, they almost always have a story of a physical or verbal assault or threat they have experienced in their career. Most times, multiple stories of these events.

The healthcare community is heartbroken and demanding protection after losing yet another one of our own. Joyce Grayson was a nurse with 26 years experience, the last 10 years working for Elara Caring (Home Care) as a visiting nurse. She was a wife, mother and grandmother. She also was a foster parent for over 20 years, making every child in her care feel like family. She enjoyed trips to Florida in the winter and baking to contribute to local bake sales.

On October 28, 2023 Joyce set out for a normal day of work with her first visit being at 8am. When she missed multiple subsequent visits with her patients through out the day, her family contacted the police. Around 2pm GPS on her phone lead them to her first patient’s home- a transition/half way house. Police found Grayson dead in the basement of that home. Suspect and Grayson’s Patient- 38 year old Michael Reese, fled the area shortly after he was found. Reese is a convicted sex offender and was detained on the scene. He was charged with possession of drug paraphernalia, larceny, and probation violation.  No one has been charged with Grayson’s murder yet, but Reese is a suspect. Details of Grayson’s death have not been released.

Grayson’s family has retained an attorney. Attorney Kelly Reardon released a statement, “They [family] feel strong that there likely were a lot of balls dropped, leading up to the death of their mother and wife.”

State Senator Martha Marx, also a nurse, said “None of us are surprised. I want everyone to realize that. None of us are surprised.” This is a chilling statement, and unfortunately, a true statement. Nurses and other health care workers are heartbroken. Angry. Fearful. But not surprised. Because we all have seen the violence and danger that working in healthcare brings. We have all seen the lack of protocol and care for our safety.

Healthcare workers need protection. Patients need to be responsible and held accountable for their actions. Safeguard and protocol need to be in place. Working as a home care nurse myself, this is a scary reminder that while this is an amazing and rewarding job, it can be dangerous. Many times, we are out all day seeing patients, and the office has no idea where we are and when. This is a painful remind to be mindful to protect ourselves, no matter where we work. If you don’t feel safe with a patient- wherever you work- don’t go in alone. Always have a clear exit path to the door. Be mindful of your surroundings. If you’re out in the field, have someone who can track your location. Please do all you can to stay safe. But as we know, sometimes, even doing all we can, is not enough.

I am sending love and prayers to Joyce Grayson’s family, friends, and coworkers.

Nurses Week 2023 starts Saturday May 6-May 12. This is a week to celebrate nurses, but many times leaves nurses feeling less than appreciated. Cold pizza, cheap gifts, or worse- no acknowledgment at all, are all reason this week may not be so great for the nurse, nursing student, or CNA in your life. If you are looking for a way to show love and appreciation this week, this post has some great ideas of gifts nurses will actually love and make them feel appreciated!

Gift Cards

I personally feel you can’t go wrong with a gift card. I love the option to treat myself to something I really want. You’re allowing the person to use the gift when they are mentally and emotionally ready and you know they will be getting something they love!

A few ideas for gift cards include:

• Favorite Coffee Shop
• Massage/Facial
• Pedicure
• Favorite Restaurant/Bar
• Ulta/Sephora
• Book Store

A Comfy, Cozy Robe

I totally underestimated the luxury of a nice robe until I was in my late 20s! There is something so cozy about having a nice robe to put on after a shower or in the morning/night. It also is a great addition to an at home spa gift- add some bath bombs, face mask, etc and you have a lovely and thoughtful gift that encourages your nurse to take care of themselves!

Skin Care/At Home Spa Gifts

Obviously, if this is of no interest to the nurse, maybe skip this one. However, I love skin care and at home spa nights especially after a long stretch of shifts!

A few key items include:

• Face/Hand/Foot Mask Mask 
• Bath bomb or epsom salt
• Quality Lotion

Treat Them to Dinner or Brunch

Quality time is definitely one of my love languages. I know as a nurse, I have missed out on events and times with friends and family. A dinner, brunch, or even a coffee with a friend as a way to celebrate nurses week would be very much appreciated and enjoyed!

Handwritten Thank You Card

If you are a patient looking for a way to thank a nurse, or a friend/family member of a nurse, this is by far one of my best and favorite ways to celebrate nurses week! It’s also a great addition to any of the gifts above. Writing a note to thank them for the work they do, qualities that you admire, and appreciation of the work they do goes a long way!

Thank you to all the amazing nurses, nursing students, and CNAs out there. And thank you to anyone who is looking for a way to appreciate the nurse in their life!

In the next week I will hit my one year mark away from the bedside. It’s really hard to believe it’s been that long. In some ways, it’s been shorter. In some ways, it’s been longer. I have been a nurse for ten years. During this time- I experienced so many beautiful moments. Moments that I’ll hold close to me forever. There were also hard times. Short staffing, toxic environments, abusive patients, mean nurses, all took it’s toll only my mental and emotional health.

I did two years of travel nursing during the pandemic. My last contract, I began to develop debilitating symptoms of depression and PTSD. I wasn’t getting out of bed, I had trouble showering, I didn’t find job in anything I did. I finally reached out for help and through the support of my husband and family- realized it was time to walk away from the bedside to focus on my own mental health and healing. I deserved time to heal my mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual health.

To read more about my choice to step away from the bedside- Stepping Away from Nursing

You deserve to put your mental health first

One thing I really learned in my year away is- you deserve and you should put your mental health first. I was worried about money (which is valid), not doing my part helping during the pandemic, sticking to the career I loved, the list goes on. In the past few years I really started to think I would just stay bedside, at least PRN, for most of my career. I love taking care of patient and families. I love the staff and teamwork of working bedside. The adrenaline. But things change, and it’s okay to adapt to that. You deserve to take care of your health.

You are more than a nurse

I don’t think I realized how much of my self worth I had put in my education and being a nurse. I spent years in nursing school, years working as a nurse. I loved working at the hospital, being a travel nurse, it was something I was really proud of. When I found myself telling people I wasn’t working as a nurse- it was hard. Being a nurse was a huge part of my identity. Through therapy and self growth- I was reminded I am more than a nurse. I am a complete person without working as a nurse.

Nursing can look many different ways

Nursing does not have to be clocking in for a 12 hour shift at the hospital. I knew this, but I was really reminded of it after developing long haul and not being able to return to work. I consider my work with Nurses Supporting Nurses, the organization I founded to provide mental health and wellness resources to nurses, nursing students, and CNAs, to be some of the best use of my nursing skills and experience. I am honored to hold our weekly support group. I now also have a job doing in home medicaid assessments, another new way to be a nurse that I am really enjoying. There is so many opportunities outside the bedside, and if you are needing a break or a change- I highly recommend looking into them.

Chronic Illness is a long and hard journey

I was diagnosed with Covid the beginning of January and after was diagnosed with long haul covid. I have been to the ER, cardiologist, started medication, and had a wide array of symptoms that limited my physical capacity. It’s been a difficult journey, especially when combined with depression and PTSD. But I’m learning to find a new normal and I hope to continue to make improvements in both my physical and mental health.

You are Not Alone

If the support group I have facilitated for the past 7 months has taught me anything, it’s you are not alone. In your worries, stress, struggles- other people are feeling the same things you are. Almost everyone in our support group is actively looking for other jobs or has changed jobs. We all have struggled with the stress of the pandemic, short staffing, and just life in general. If you are a nurse, CNA, or nursing student, we would love to have you join our support group.

Nursing is hard. It’s even harder during a pandemic. Short staff, supply shortage, emotional trauma, the list goes on. And it’s okay to say- I need a break. That may look like cutting hours or changing jobs. Please take care of you. You deserve to feel happy and find peace.

The past week has held a lot of tragedy for the nursing & health care community. Three member of our community- a nurse, a social worker, and a nurses practitioner were all killed while simply doing their jobs. And we aren’t talking about military medics on the front lines of war (which is tragic) but civilian nurses in a hospital and detox center in the U.S. Places staff, patients, and families should be safe. Our country and hospitals are failing nurses and healthcare workers- over and over again.

On Tuesday October 18, June Onkundi, a psychiatric nurse practitioner was stabbed and killed by a patient she was caring for at Freedom House Recovery Center in Durham, NC. The recovery center is a halfway house and detoxification center.

On Saturday October 22, a nurse- Katie Flowers, who went by Annette, and Jacqueline Pokuaa, a social worker were shot and killed at Dallas Methodist on the post partum unit . The alleged killer was shot by a Dallas Methodist police sergeant in the leg. He was stabilized and transferred to a nearby hospital.

Violence Against Health Care Workers

These tragedies are senseless and heartbreaking. Healthcare workers should never fear for their lives when going to work, but especially fear of death by a gunshot. Yet, healthcare workers are five times as likely to experience violence in the work place as other professions. We have enough trauma with the mismanagement of the entire pandemic, short staffing, lack of needed supplies. Violence against healthcare workers has alway been an issue, and now it is on the tragically on the rise. Some other concerning statistics:

• The rate of injuries from violent attacks against medical professionals grew by 63% from 2011 to 2018
• In a survey by National Nurses United, 48% of the more than 2,000 responding nurses reported an increase in workplace violence — more than double the percentage from a year earlier.
• 44% of nurses report experiencing physical violence
• 68% of nurses report verbal abuse during the pandemic

Poor Response from Dallas Methodist

This message from a employee at Dallas Methodist was shared on The Nurse Erica’s instagram and it is heartbreak that the hospital not only failed to protect the nurse and social worker who passed, but they also failed to care for the mental and emotional health of their staff member. I have since read that crisis councilors were brought in- but why were they not there from day 1? Why were they not working to make the staff feel safe and help them cope. This is, yet again, another moment when healthcare facilities and admin fail to care for the healthcare workers.

SAVE Act

Representatives Madeleine Dean (PA-D) and Larry Dean Bucshon (IN-R) introduced the Safety From Violence for Healthcare Employees (SAVE) Act. This bill, modeled after current protections for aircraft and airport workers, would provide legal penalties for individuals who knowingly and intentionally assault or intimidate hospital employees. This bill needs to be passed as a first step in protecting healthcare workers.

The bill is endorsed by the American Hospital Association, the American College of Emergency Physicians, the Hospital & Healthsystem Association of Pennsylvania, the Indiana Hospital Association, and the Indiana Organization for Nursing Leadership.

Support from NSN

If you need a safe place to come and share your thoughts and feelings on these tragedies, your fear for the future of nursing or walking in to work, or whatever it may be- Nurses Supporting Nurses is here for you. We hold a complimentary support group every Wednesday at 8pm EST for nurses, nursing students, and CNAs. Visit the website or reach out if you want more information.

Sending love to the families of the lost healthcare workers. I am truly sorry the system failed your loved on.

References:

https://www.fox4news.com/news/two-nurses-killed-in-dallas-hospital-shooting-identified

https://nurse.org/articles/nurse-stabbed-by-patient/

https://www.aha.org/fact-sheets/2022-06-07-fact-sheet-workplace-violence-and-intimidation-and-need-federal-legislative

https://dean.house.gov/2022/6/reps-dean-and-bucshon-introduce-bill-to-protect-healthcare-employees

https://www.aamc.org/news-insights/threats-against-health-care-workers-are-rising-heres-how-hospitals-are-protecting-their-staffs

https://www.aha.org/lettercomment/2022-03-24-aha-urges-doj-protect-health-care-workers-workplace-violence